"Blessed are the little joys in life.
They have the power to keep us going
when we don't think we can."
- from ''Eat Your Peas: For Tough Times"
They have the power to keep us going
when we don't think we can."
- from ''Eat Your Peas: For Tough Times"
So, after such an exciting last few days, we thought things were calming down. Not so much. The oxygen level in my blood is very, very low so they've got me on the tubes up the nose thing because without it my oxygen level drops way below 90%, which is very bad. Good news: I don't have pneumonia. Bad news: they still don't know exactly what kind of infection is going on. They tried a bronchoscopy the other day to try to look around in my lungs and flush them to see exactly what is going on. That lasted all of 2 seconds and they pulled the tube out and said they couldn't do it. And I was like, are you sure you don't want to try one more time? and the lady looked at me and said, ma'am, you turned blue. so i said OH. Yeah let's not try that again. But tomorrow, my doctors are going to see if they would be willing to completely sedate me and try it again, because they desperately need to narrow their options so they can target the right thing with the right medicines.
Anyway, my kidneys aren't doing a great job of filtering, so they have me on lots of liquids to keep them safe. The bad news is I'm swollen up like a balloon. I swear I'm carrying around 20 lbs. of extra fluid weight. My legs last night were so huge I literally didn't recognize my own body. I thought someone had replaced them with tree trunks...very ugly ones at that. They're giving me a steroid, as well, to help my kidneys do their job better. They tried a gentler version on me tonight then what they had been giving me and about 1 minute later I couldn't breathe. The weird thing is I was worried that the nurses wouldn't get here before I passed out more than the fact that I couldn't breathe, but they were right on target, cut off the medicine flow, switched me to a mask and I was back to good in seconds. Oh, and back to me feeling like a marshmallow, they can't give me lasiks to make me have to go all of the time because then my kidneys wouldn't have enough fluid and they would be damaged. So, the steroid that's supposed to push things along has been working really well and we're doing it the safe way. My legs are now 2/3 the tree trunk size they were before and I can actually see some tendons in my hands, but not my feet yet. I asked my dad if this is what I'm gonna look like if I ever get pregnant and he was like 'there's a chance' and I was like 'ugh...but it would still be worth it'.
So, I thought I was gonna just squat down and pick up something and I found myself instantly on my butt. I decided it actually felt good sitting just where I was until I realized I had to get up...uhhh....hmmm. I failed miserably at just pushing off the floor like I normally would, but I didn't give up. I turned around and reached for the two railings on the bed and slowly pulled myself up. I felt like I was lifting up the world. It's amazing the energy and natural motion I lose without even realizing it.
I have my parents here...although they missed the allergic reaction to the steroid (which I'm kind of happy about b/c I think my mom wouldn't leave my bedside for a week straight, she'd be so worried about me). And Mike is worried about me, so he's going to try to be down here early Monday to see that I'm still around and everything is going to be okay. I feel like everything is going as smoothly as possible, especially considering that the docs are having trouble narrowing things down. They're on top of everything. I've had docs, nurses, pulmonary, infectious diseases, and the oxygen control people in and out of my room ALL day to make sure things are okay and if they're not, they find something to hopefully make it better. OH. I also had and EKG done and my heart looks fine, so thank God for that. It's been through so much, sometimes I wonder if one day it's gonna be like 'I'm outta here'. But it keeps hanging strong through all of this - Go heart, Go!
Don't worry too much about me. The worrying never helps. Just think positive, keep me in your heart and prayers and thoughts and I'll be fine. All I need is love ;) (and maybe a good strawberry margarita, but that is WAY down the road for me)
Anyway, my kidneys aren't doing a great job of filtering, so they have me on lots of liquids to keep them safe. The bad news is I'm swollen up like a balloon. I swear I'm carrying around 20 lbs. of extra fluid weight. My legs last night were so huge I literally didn't recognize my own body. I thought someone had replaced them with tree trunks...very ugly ones at that. They're giving me a steroid, as well, to help my kidneys do their job better. They tried a gentler version on me tonight then what they had been giving me and about 1 minute later I couldn't breathe. The weird thing is I was worried that the nurses wouldn't get here before I passed out more than the fact that I couldn't breathe, but they were right on target, cut off the medicine flow, switched me to a mask and I was back to good in seconds. Oh, and back to me feeling like a marshmallow, they can't give me lasiks to make me have to go all of the time because then my kidneys wouldn't have enough fluid and they would be damaged. So, the steroid that's supposed to push things along has been working really well and we're doing it the safe way. My legs are now 2/3 the tree trunk size they were before and I can actually see some tendons in my hands, but not my feet yet. I asked my dad if this is what I'm gonna look like if I ever get pregnant and he was like 'there's a chance' and I was like 'ugh...but it would still be worth it'.
So, I thought I was gonna just squat down and pick up something and I found myself instantly on my butt. I decided it actually felt good sitting just where I was until I realized I had to get up...uhhh....hmmm. I failed miserably at just pushing off the floor like I normally would, but I didn't give up. I turned around and reached for the two railings on the bed and slowly pulled myself up. I felt like I was lifting up the world. It's amazing the energy and natural motion I lose without even realizing it.
I have my parents here...although they missed the allergic reaction to the steroid (which I'm kind of happy about b/c I think my mom wouldn't leave my bedside for a week straight, she'd be so worried about me). And Mike is worried about me, so he's going to try to be down here early Monday to see that I'm still around and everything is going to be okay. I feel like everything is going as smoothly as possible, especially considering that the docs are having trouble narrowing things down. They're on top of everything. I've had docs, nurses, pulmonary, infectious diseases, and the oxygen control people in and out of my room ALL day to make sure things are okay and if they're not, they find something to hopefully make it better. OH. I also had and EKG done and my heart looks fine, so thank God for that. It's been through so much, sometimes I wonder if one day it's gonna be like 'I'm outta here'. But it keeps hanging strong through all of this - Go heart, Go!
Don't worry too much about me. The worrying never helps. Just think positive, keep me in your heart and prayers and thoughts and I'll be fine. All I need is love ;) (and maybe a good strawberry margarita, but that is WAY down the road for me)
7 comments:
I'm praying for you dear. Hang in there. Stay strong!
DDUUUUUDE. I'd call you right now but it's late and I don't think you'd appreciate it. Sorry you have elephantitis ;). I will have a prayer session for you tomorrow night in my first housemate Bible study!!! WOOOOT! Anyway, Veg says that she loves you and is praying for you and I just thought I'd send a little love your way from me too! Miss you and love you. Get better... stat!
Hello beautiful, I had a good time with you tonight. The doctors are doing their job. I am very pleased with them. I give thanks to our Lord that you are in a good place. The doctors are on top of everything. The nurses are always there and know what they're doing. It is wonderful to look around your room and see lots of cards and stuffed animals to remind you that there are a lot of people who care about you and love you. You have loved ones who left you messages online. People are praying for you from everywhere. The doctor said at this stage you are now most of the patients can't do anything by themselves. But they are very happy you are doing great and keep up with your activities. I am thankful and give thanks to our Lord for His continuing healing you everyday.I want to tell you I love you and am happy you are courageous and strong. God bless you and keep smiling. Love mom.
You're in my prayers day and night
You have the heart of a lioness! Keep up the strength, and don't give in!
Hey Babe! I hate that you are having a rough time and wish I could take it away. But YOU will get through this. I wish we could come and see you. You are always on my mind and I say a prayer for you and your family, not only at night but also during the day. What a wonder family you have - and Mike is a great guy! Give him a hug from me. We love you tons. Love Leona - oh and Dave. :)
I posted the Orchid pictures for you!
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